Beautiful Heart

So here I am, feeling the sparks of love firing my heart totally unbeatable by my mind's comprehension. Why am I battling to a fight where I can't seen to think that I have a slight chance of winning? Will there ever be a peace in my heart after all of this. Yes, I have already said it before that he had struck my heart after he has shown me all kinds of kindness. Am I only waiting in vain for him to tell it to me properly on how he really feels about me.

It was a bright day for me to finish my job while he and my other co workers are going to receive our endorsement of our 5 patients lying in bed. I suddenly blurted out loud that I needed to stay longer for work and suddenly a low pitched voice awakens my soul asking why. I explained myself that I am so eager to finish all the requirements needed like a certificate of employment that needs to be signed. And here he was told me if I wanted him to do it instead. I agreed with him doing a favor for me and said thank you for being grateful. It was the start of our beautiful conversations that made me really happy. We both shared our dreams, fears and the twist in our lives. I can feel the glow in my eyes whenever I see him even though I wanted to stop so I won't get caught. I invited him if he wanted to go with me as we make our dreams come true-- to work abroad as a successful nurse. He then agreed so I invited him to go process our papers. That day come, I was so eager to make myself prettier than ever. I plucked and cleaned my eyebrows, had some exercise done to flatten my stomach and a pedicure to groom my non growing nails. It was then when I saw him again that I felt he looked at me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. I don't know what's in his eyes that charms and mesmerizes me a lot.

Our conversation continued as we talked about our past, the days when we were still a student. I even forgot the school he went which he mentioned to me a long time ago. I was so eager to know him more. He accompanied me to the things I needed to do and so am I to him. We walked along the roads of university belt along with the other college students looking for a perfect place to eat. I was waiting for him to decide on which place, he gave me an idea he wanted to eat rice and so we did. I never knew what to eat- maybe except for chicken, which I didn't choose after all. He paid for my dinner and I don't know if I would consider this as a date, which I still did without him knowing. He shown me his graduation photo as what we've talked about before meeting each other. I laughed in his awkward poses of his innocent look of his childhood. The laughter we've had is unbeatable happiness I've felt, I guess this was my first conversation after all with a decent and mature man who would look at me in my face when we eat and open his whole heart to me. 

He walked me until the train because of some of his errands and this was the last time we talked, the time when he bid goodbye and said take care. I still have some work to do and didn't hear anything from him anymore until this day. Sadness slowly creeps into my heart, and I am becoming weary and tired of waiting. Thinking if there's still a chance he would tell me how he really feels or am I the only one dreaming that we could be together despite of the fact that reality didn't match us that well because of our shortcomings. Until when should I wait and see if he'll be honest enough to admit that I wasn't the only one who felt the way I did. This beautiful heart of mine now becomes the agony waiting to be buried in the graveyard along with the dreams of being pursued, cherished and loved. The stolen heart of mine is yet to be caught, maybe not anymore. This heart of mine which I treasured long enough has just been broken and left alone, my beautiful heart no more..